Gratitude and Other Thoughts

By |2022-01-02T21:03:07+00:00January 2nd, 2022|Inspiration, Personal Thoughts, Relationships, Self-Awareness, Self-Development|

Oliver Sacks on gratitude and other thoughts “My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved. I have been given much and I have given something in return. Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.” In his essays on gratitude written in the last years of this life, Oliver Sacks starts with the beautiful premise: “but I am not finished with living”. “I am glad I am not dead!” bursts out of him when the weather is perfect…what a beautiful short depiction of gratitude, for a world we’ve only been deposited into and had no role in making as perfect as it is. Sacks is a master of curiosity. That curiosity : a genuine, enthusiastic interest in all manner of observation was a fitting foundation for his career (life) in science. But what sets him apart is his humanity, how the science connects with the human. In Sabbath he alludes to the crisis of his homosexuality for his orthodox mother, frozen in fear of Leviticus. He moves on undaunted, resolving only to “hate religion’s capacity for bigotry and hatred.” I chose to find the distinction meaningful: a lesser man would have jumped to hatred of religion itself and by extension its radicalised proponents. Not Sacks. Change your mind…In a New York Times article of 2010, Are we shaped by [...]

Pursuing Shadows

By |2021-10-03T20:07:48+00:00October 3rd, 2021|Inspiration, Personal Thoughts, Relationships, Self-Awareness, Self-Development|

My coach Jane has kindly introduced me to the wonderful “Cloud Appreciation Society” which puts an image and thought of the day into my inbox. “And art thou nothing? Such thou art, as when The woodman winding westward up the glen, ...Sees full before him, gliding without tread, An image with a glory round its head; The enamoured rustic worships its fair hues, Nor knows he makes the shadow he pursues!” From the poem ‘Constancy to an Ideal Object’ by Samuel Taylor Coleridge I am fascinated with the little pearl of wisdom in this one: "Nor knows he makes the shadow he pursues!”. I see it as a metaphor of our frequent confusion. Are we really the victims of a hostile environment, aggressive colleagues, demanding spouses, attention seeking children and friends ? Or simply creating our own little conspiracy theory? When we seek goals of social recognition, fame and admiration, a brush with celebrity (think about the buzz some experience when bumping into Brad Pitt at Starbucks!), we are really pursuing a shadow of our own making, unsustainably fuelling our bottomless tank of external self-esteem validation. Such is the cost of social media and the pursuit of social approval. Contrast this shadowy pursuit with the adventure of letting go of all earthly connections for a while: with our heads in the clouds we choose to spend time experiencing otherness, outwards and upwards - connecting with a far away outer world, ever changing but always there [...]

About Paths and Roads

By |2021-07-30T08:48:36+00:00July 30th, 2021|Inspiration, Personal Thoughts, Relationships, Self-Awareness, Self-Development|

“The difference between a path and a road is not only the obvious one. A path is little more than a habit that comes with knowledge of a place. It is a sort of ritual of familiarity. As a form, it is a form of contact with a known landscape. It is not destructive. It is the perfect adaptation, through experience and familiarity, of movement to place; it obeys the natural contours; such obstacles as it meets it goes around. A road, on the other hand, even the most primitive road, embodies a resistance against the landscape. Its reason is not simply the necessity for movement, but haste. Its wish is to avoid contact with the landscape; it seeks so far as possible to go over the country, rather than through it; its aspiration, as we see clearly in the example of our modern freeways, is to be a bridge; its tendency is to translate place into space in order to traverse it with the least effort. It is destructive, seeking to remove or destroy all obstacles in its way. The primitive road advanced by the destruction of the forest; modern roads advance by the destruction of topography. – Wendell Berry, excerpt from A Native Hill "such obstacles as it meets it goes around"... I chose the path, the humble path that gets there in the end, all the while respecting the environment, the settled communities, human and animal life alike.  In coaching, we [...]

Praise for Compromise

By |2021-07-05T11:36:12+00:00July 5th, 2021|Inspiration, Personal Thoughts, Relationships, Self-Awareness, Self-Development|

As we strive to honour our (widely shared) values of integrity, authenticity, honesty, we often feel we cannot give in, be flexible in adhering to those values without significant loss. We’re also told that compromising is bad, an expedient acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable or according to the Cambridge Dictionary : “to allow your principles to be less strong or your standards or morals to be lower". That last meaning is only a recent evolution though, the result of Victorian moral fundamentalism absent from the latin root. Interestingly, other languages have a separate word for that meaning (French: “compromission" which is not the same as “compromis”). “to allow your principles to be less strong or your standards or morals to be lower" - Cambridge Dictionnary Today we see some of the more extreme consequences of this belief in the political debate around us, with devastating social, economic, environmental and perhaps even health consequences for our world. Such is the price of lack of compromise. I feel bound to contribute my voice as a coach to this very current conversation: as co-active coaches we believe EVERY human being to be naturally creative, resourceful and whole. By whole, we mean unbroken, capable of self healing if need be. If this is to be so, especially in matters of opinion, your opinion is just as valuable as mine: I am not, nor are you, more whole than one another. Take many of the situations you [...]

The Invention of The Self

By |2021-04-07T08:24:56+00:00April 7th, 2021|Self-Awareness|

New Camaldoli Hermitage, Big Sur, California. About a year ago, just before the Pandemic struck I took the road to retreat to this incredible place, brought to my attention by Pico Iyer the British travel writer. The occasion was a multi day retreat held by the Hermitage : drawing contributions ranging from the Christian and Budhist traditions and more recently Psychology and Neuro Science, we were led to meditate and experience what it means to have a Self. What happens when we work on it or neglect it. With the gift of peace at the Hermitage in the breathtaking surroundings of the Big Sur coast line, our minds and souls roam free, deep in thought and debate about what makes for a well lived life. And the monks’ delicious and energising Holy Granola sustains us! Attaining wisdom, lasting peace, contributing to our society’s growth, our own growth, coming to know ourselves, not in cognitive knowledge but in an experiential way - all these and more seem worthy ingredients of a well lived life. As we are sustained by Hope of attaining those and other stages of Life, we are compelled to Persevere (emphasis on Fidelity) rather than Endure (emphasis on Stamina, wilfulness, control, stubbornness, ego investment). We remind ourselves of our children’s stories : “can’t go around it, can’t go under it, can’t go over it, got to get through it!” (From “We’re going on a bear hunt”, Michael Rosen). The “going through it” is sometimes called “self authoring” : [...]

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